Cheating

So two weeks ago on Wednesday night discussion ended up on cheating. Our student ministries staff and leaders realized via a poll that all but one of our students cheated on a monthly basis. When we started talking about the reasons why my heart broke. The biggest reason they cheat is so they can please there parents by the grades they get. Our students are feeling as though they are not good enough for their parents. So if they peek at someone else's paper to get an answer they do not know it's okay because they will not get yelled at at home for bringing home a bad grade. The students feel that they would rather cheat than be yelled at or feel as though they have disappointed their parents.

I never had this trouble because as long as I tried my best my parents were proud of me and I knew it. In college at one point I felt like a failure and called home scared of how my parents were going to react at the sound of my bad grades and I was so scared that my parents were going to fuss about the money they had taken out of retirement to pay for my semester. Instead my Dad was so loving and said "Oh well, what's one more semester!" I was in tears because I realized that my parents loved me supported me no matter what! So when I see my students craving this attention from their parents it breaks my heart to see the extremes they are going to just to please their parents.

Confession

So I am having some major Spiritual Warfare. I am preaching Sunday Night and this happens every time I preach whether it be on a Sunday Night or to a larger youth group on a special occasion... I almost always feel as though I am not good enough --> In life in general. All of those little things that pop up every now and then that I'm not good at or are an insecurity all come together at once... Sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough and I put my worth in other people... so if something happens and the person or persons I talk to on a daily basis back out on me or stop talking to me I feel that it's my fault or that I did something wrong... or maybe I'm just not good enough for them. All of those insecurities pop up... I thank God all the time for my friends... those that I can call on at any time. God has given me the most amazing friends and family ever! I love the closeness that I have with so many of my friends! Amazing! But sometimes I feel like I forget that my best friend should truly be Jesus... Instead I turn to humans who HELLO are going to fail me... So that's the Confession... I need to turn to Him more than friends and family.... WoW! When I had this realization today I was in tears... I couldn't help but become overwhelmed at how much I depend on humans instead of God...

Renewed

So I was really struggling Spiritually for about a month... I didn't tell anyone and really thought that no one could tell. The Ironic thing is that the person who could tell the most was my old roomie Kim. She called me out all the way from Asheville, NC! haha! Well, about 2 weeks ago maybe 3 I started the book Soul School by Jeanne Stevens. I can not tell you how much this book has truly blessed my life and has renewed me. I am preaching next Sunday night and this book has inspired much of what I am going to speak on. From Christians trying to hide their sins from each other to focusing on the past instead of the present. Jeanne put Isaiah 43:19 out of the message translation into a chapter. It says,

Forget about what's happened;
don't keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand-new.
It's bursting out! Don't you see it?

Man that is good stuff! How many of us focus on what we did in our pasts or even wanting to go back to a certain time in our life when we feel like things are getting tough. INSTEAD we need to be alert and present because God is gonna ROCK our faces off if we are just expectant about it! I see this in our churches. We want to go back to the hay days but we forget that our hay days were some of the toughest times in our lives. We just remember how we felt after God brought us through those things. In the book Pop Goes The Church, by Tim Stevens, a question is posed... What would your community look like if your church was gone? Would people notice? and by people the author is not talking about the church goers and their friends but the people who do not attend and drive by on a daily basis. I know for Round Oak that all we do feeding people and helping them get by in tough times and on Wednesdays nights when the van runs to the trailer park to pick up the kids that those people would notice... they would notice that that help is no longer there. I just hope that we are seen as a light in this community and not just a social club!
So yeah that's what God has been teaching me lately!


Another Subject entirely is how much I love Dorothy Thomas... She is a pillar in our church and is the oldest member at like 98 or something like that... Today while playing Secretary she called to see if tomorrow during homecoming work day if someone would clean a plaque that was placed in memory of her husband... she said that in 26 years no one has probably cleaned it, but she was just hoping that someone could get around to it... That makes me want to go clean it right now! She never wants to inconvenience someone but is so sweet and loves her Jesus so much people just want to help her!